The word "love" in a relationship is tossed around and mostly misunderstood by the parties involved. True love is where one gives attention to another that needs and wants that attention, and then it becomes beneficial to the recipient. It does not drain the one giving this love to the point of sacrifice or suffering. If you are sacrificing or suffering then the one receiving the energy you are putting forth will not feel happy. They will instead have a feeling of obligation, of responsibility, of indebtedness to you for all that sacrificing and suffering you are doing. They will feel forced into returning some of that which has been given. This is a form of manipulation.
If you go into a relationship thinking it will last a lifetime you are already in trouble. It is like grabbing a surf board and running into a building instead of the water. A relationship will last only as long as it is supposed to. When the Bible was written and relationships were said to last a lifetime - well a lifetime when the Bible was written was very short. People didn't live near as long as they do today. It is like comparing apples and oranges.
True love is a mutual sharing and if just one party is giving all their energy towards this relationship and the other is just taking or putting forth very little, then the relationship is one that is unbalanced. And like anything else that is unbalanced it will eventually fall. Many friendships, as well as marriages have gone by the wayside for just this reason.
Many do not recognize that love can come from any source and that they themselves can generate love, that they can love themselves and the fact is they must love themselves before they can love another. Unfortunately they believe love must come from objects of their affection and seek to be loved by others.
Marriage is an agreement, a contract. The words of this agreement are spoken as vows to each other during the marriage ceremony. If any of these agreements/vows are broken by either party then the agreement/contract is null and void. When you change an agreement/contract to where is no longer recognizable, then the agreement/contract is broken. Never let the agreement/contract become more important than the outcome. Renegotiate, and if that doesn't work then break the contract. Agree to end the agreement.
So many people will stay in a relationship where both parties are miserable just because they feel they have to live up the part of the marriage contract that says till "death do us part." That does not necessarily mean physical death you know. I can be the "death" of a relationship.
Mutual respect is the basis of love, a relationship cannot live without it. Emotional or physical abuse is not respect. This was not a part of the agreement made when you said your marriage vows. Knowing, liking, trusting, three more necessary ingredients for any relationship.
Place your love upon an object that welcomes it. Give your love just because you love, not out of any sense of obligation. In whatever relationship you are in, if you feel the love your are pouring out is unappreciated, then it is time to reel in your investments of love, stop the energy loss, for this is likened unto "casting your pearls before swine."
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